Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Finding Spirituality in a Broken Heart

     All I wanted was closure. A calm, nice, ending closure. But it didn't happen that way.

     I laid in bed with tired eyes looking at my phone. Text after text revealed hatred and disgust from another broken soul. He's broken in different ways. And it's natural for me, as a healer, to want to help. But there was no helping him this time. I had to help myself. And that is hard to do when you still have love for someone. I informed him I was going to block him on every social media outlet possible; and not out of anger or spite or even immaturity, no. But, out of protection. I now needed to protect myself once again. I now needed to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and soul. I was so tired.

     I'm not sure what time I fell asleep last night. My dreams weren't the most pleasant, nor were they the most terrifying. Sometimes I feel life is more terrifying than a nightmare.  I'm not saying my life is terrifying right now, because it's not. But I feel like I'm in limbo - a ghost that doesn't yet realize it's dead and can move on. I, however, am not dead. And as I look around my office I find myself feeling grateful for everything that has been given to me and that I have achieved over the past few years. Change is constant, and I have dealt with my fair share of changes. And now I'm on the brink of another one. One that I know is going to shoot me straight forward to everything I've ever wanted.

     I'm impatient, though. I want it all yesterday, last week, last month. But it's coming. I know it is. I can feel it. I just have to get through this.

     How do you get through such things? Let's chat. Maybe by helping you, you'll be able to help me. Or vice versa. Support, you know, is a wonderful thing. I speak with my guides, angels, loved ones all of the time - because I know they fully support and help me. And yet, sometimes, I need the help of another living Soul. We all do, don't we?